And she lived happily ever after

Once upon a time there was a princess, but this princess was not head over heels in love with her prince-to-be. In fact, she thought he was ugly, crass, and frankly, mentally retarded. The wedding was soon. It was too late to grow her hair, and forget about the fairy godmother—she had set up a sustainable transportation business. The princess had to take things into her own hands, and that’s exactly what she did. On the day of the wedding she socked the prince a good one, used her dress as a flotation device, and paddled into the horizon.