That Kid on the Plane

Yeah, I sat in front of this kid on the plane earlier today. He was a machine designed to annoy.

His head was a megaphone. Instead of legs he had powerful pistons aimed at my back and they fired precisely without fail. He had a timer to remind him to put his tray up or down at least once a minute. Instead of hands he had magazine shredders, and he let out the most polluted smells. His air intake was totally stopped up with the snot he constantly manufactured. He leaked every twenty minutes and needed refueling every half hour.