Smoking

The first time I quit smoking, it was because my girlfriend said she didn’t like it.

The second time I quit was when we got married.

The third time was when we moved to Europe and I couldn’t find anything American to smoke.

The fourth time was when we moved back to the States and I couldn’t find anything European to smoke.

The fifth time was when she got pregnant.

The sixth time was during the divorce, I tried to clean up my act to get custody.

I’m done quitting. Smoking is reliable in a way that I am not.