Reasons not to bathe

1. It’s really cold outside, so it’s not like I sweat or anything.
2. I put on cologne.
3. I can just use one of those alcohol pads.
4. Who says the water is even clean?
5. No one is going to smell me, and if they do, it serves them right for getting too close.
6. My cat has separation anxiety and I can’t take it into the shower.
7. It’s like camping!
8. I am picky about my bath, and I’m out of flower petals and incense.
9. There’s no hot water.
10. I don’t particularly want to.