Shoes. Where would I be without shoes? Right here, of course, for I wouldn’t have budged an inch. Shoes are civilization and humanity. They separate us from pan troglodytes and porpoises, two other intelligent—but decidedly shoeless—species. They represent all that is good about people.
Thus, let us purchase some shoes. To do so, we must spend currency; another human invention. The shoes must fit well, and for this condition to be satisfied, they must be at scale a fraction larger than my foot. Bollocks, my foot appears too large. What is the price, $300? Oh dear. Nevermind, I’ll purchase them.
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