1. Catch up or you’ll be late and make everyone else pissed off.
2. Don’t step on the lines because chances are, one of them is really a worm and it’ll get all mushed under your shoe.
3. Don’t make faces in the mirror. Little gnomes operate them and don’t appreciate it.
4. Burp and fart in moderation, but when you do, make them count, goddamnit.
5. Laugh often, but not at people who are mentally or physically disabled unless it’s really funny.
6. When your friend is hung-over, go to the nearest bar and tell them it’s his birthday.
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