Hunting For The Wild Hot Pocket (Inspired by Michael Brandt)

Many believe that the hot pocket is a synthetically created food—a pastry shell filled with low-quality ingredients, stuffed with unnatural chemicals, but new research findings may blow your mind. The hot pocket is, in fact, an organism in the phylum chordata. Yes, folks, that’s right. The hot pocket is indeed a wild animal. The Hot Pocket Corp. founder kept this information secret since his discovery of the hot pocket in the Sahara in 1964. It was highly endangered, and he abducted the last remaining population for his own manufacturing purposes. So, ladies and gents—let your hot pockets run wild!