A probable musing of what happened at a certain university’s commencement at a certain recent past

Look at those filthy individuals. What do they call themselves, again? Oh right, pro-choicers. The only choice they’re making is against life. Gosh darn it. I mean, goddamn abortionists. They can get away with murder! What’s next! You just watch. They’re going to sneak into your homes next and cut the life out of your children under your very noses—with a coat hanger nonetheless! Who even thinks about using some apparatus used to hang clothes to…oh I don’t know, scoop out a developing life like the bottom of an ice cream carton? Anyone who supports this is evil. And probably black.