Someone Pillaged The Pie

The pie was sacred: made from the blood, sweat, and tears of the people, and some god-awful denizen rose out of hell to steal a piece—a piece that would have caused eyes to drip tears of delirious satiety. And this abysmal excuse of a human being didn’t even have the mental capacity to eat the glorious thing. No. Instead, he or she placed it on a plate, zapped it, and left it in the microwave. And THEN, he or she covered it with half a calzone, the inviable hybrid of pizza and hotpocket, and four chicken nuggets. I am disgusted.