Christmas Letter

Dear Santa,

This Christmas I want a world without global warming because I’m scared my property in Florida will be submerged if carbon dioxide levels continue unchecked. I’m appealing to you because all of the talking heads, politicians, psuedo-hippies, and green engineers can’t seem to do anything about it, and maybe only Christmas magic will make the threat disappear. In any case, the joyful Christmas spirit will live on in me regardless of what happens to the world in the barren non-Christmas months. Oh yes, can you make gas prices go down too? My Porsche only takes Premium.

Love,
Robert