My first doo doo.

My first doo doo came out before I did. Yep, I released my first poop inside of mom. And then she released her first Michael into the world. It was a medical emergency whose name I forget.

I was born surrounded in my own poo. My mom thinks it makes me happy to hear it looked more like weird mustard than like poo.

I bet my dad thought it was really gross and really learned what love means, beyond what he learned in Disney movies. I’m not sure if he ever even watched those.

My parents are pretty cool people.