The world has died.
That’s right, folks. As of 3:32 pm today, Eastern Standard Time.
It was a tragic, but beautiful event as she collapsed into herself, furrowing along the equator, steam rising in bellows as oceans and oceans disappeared into the crevice. While it is impossible to report on any sound, witnesses commented that they imagined a crunching noise to accompany the crumbling structures that once were inhabited by the very people of the space stations. It is a devastating report we have here, but she lived to the ripe age of 6.5 billion years.
Back to you, Tom.
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