Today I farted on a raspberry Popsicle. I thought it would still be good so I licked it. It tasted like poo. FML.
Today my lover broke up with me. Via text message. From her new boyfriend’s phone. FML.
Today I stepped on a pigeon by accident and felt its tiny bones crunching under my foot. It wasn’t dead but it was paralyzed. I was hungry, so I killed it and ate it. Now I have cholera. FML.
Today I satisfied my chocolate cravings with the only candy in my cupboard: Choco X-Lax. I didn’t see the wrapper. FML.
Monday, April 27, 2009
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You totally got what you were asking for.
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