Absinthe

First, go overseas. The real stuff is illegal in the US.

Pour about a shot of the green fairy into a glass. Smells like fancy licorice. Nice.

Take a spoon with holes in it (or a fork) and put across the top of the glass. Put a cube of sugar on top of that.

Slowly drip ice cold water over the sugar until it dissolves completely. Keep going – well over half the glass should be water. The good stuff becomes cloudy, and the cloudiness is called “louche.”

Now swirl with the spoon.

Mr. Hemmingway, your drink is ready for you.