Emerson Haymaker

Emerson Haymaker was the most brilliant dirt-poor inventor of all time. Raised in Trenton, Emerson was depressed as a child. Depressed with the dismal life around him and depressed with his parents’ unrelenting lack of attention. So he invented things. And he talked to himself. Emerson Haymaker imagined out loud. He dreamt up new kinds of doors and the specifications just flowed out of his mouth. Some lurking idea-thieves picked them up and got rich. Next thing someone had even patented the idea of walking around behind Emerson to eavesdrop his ideas. What a dirt-poor talker. How brilliant he was!