I love you this much

I love you like a fat man loves his dollar value meals.

I love you as much as a menopausal woman sticks her head in the fridge every day.

I love you like a CEO loves his blackberry.

I love you as much as fish remember after two seconds.

I love you like a person with OCD loves that 56^th handwashing.

I love you as much as Easy Mac needs paprika.

I love you like a preppy white chick loves her Uggs.

I love you like emo kids love bangs.

I love you as much as a crackwhore loves crack…and sex.